Dear Sh! I've just been told I have something called Vaginismus. I've spent years wondering why I couldn't have proper sex with boyfriends (and usually getting dumped because of it). I've never heard of Vaginismus before, and it sounds pretty bad! I was told to get myself a dilating kit for vaginismus treatment.
Can you help?
Vaginismus is actually pretty common, and every year we have hundreds of women coming through our doors who also have the same condition. The sad fact is that almost every single suffering from a painful vagina feels alone and like they 'are the only one'
This is why we set up this info site and why we regularly hold live streams on our Insta about Vaginismus- its important to break the taboo, shame and silence about a treatable condition that effects so many...
Vaginismus is a condition where the muscles in and around the vagina go into spasm. This makes intercourse either very painful and difficult, or even impossible. Vaginismus is usually seen as having psychological roots, so working to "repair" yourself physically and addressing any psychological issues about sex you may have lurking deep down (whatever they are and wherever they may have come from) is the best way forward. Above all, don't despair!
Vaginismus is a condition that can be overcome.
'Getting dumped' because of painful sex is not a pressure you need right now ( or ever!) so it's probably best you make this journey solo, so you can focus all the love, self-care and work on you. That said, you need a good therapist who you will feel comfortable with as together you look to the phsycological issues that maybe at the root of the condition.
You've 'been told' ( gently encouraged, we hope) to get a dilating kit. We understand why the whole thing 'sounds pretty bad' Not least because a standard hard plastic dilating kit (often prescribed for Vaginismus) can look & feel very clinical, cold and dull.
We believe that the physical treatment for Vaginismus is not something that anyone should have to grit their teeth and get on with. Sure, there is patience and progression required, but what happens if we try to take the process away from the realms of 'treatment' and more into the realms of pleasure...
4 soft silicone dildos, graded in size, starting from very small and slim and progressing to larger and wider. A small bullet vibrator can be slotted into the dilator base to add a gentle buzz to the product. The bullet can also be used separately.
The advantage of using vibrating dilators instead of non-vibrating ones is that the vibrations will help to relax your muscles, and you can have fun stimulating your labia and clit at the same time.
Vibration is arousing to the vast majority of people. Reading erotica may also help build arousal. Being aroused may make the 'training' feel more more natural (even desired) Like everything in life, the less you see something as a chore, the more likely you are to do it.
The most important thing is to try not to despair or give up on yourself - Vaginismus is beatable!