Every year on 15 September, we mark Vaginismus Awareness Day - a day created to raise awareness of vaginismus, break the silence around it and remind anyone experiencing painful or difficult penetration that they are not alone.
Vaginismus can be an incredibly isolating condition.
You might have been told to “just relax.” You might have worried that something was wrong with you. You might have avoided sex, put off using tampons, or felt anxious about cervical screening or medical examinations.
Perhaps you’ve even wondered why something that seems so straightforward for other people feels impossible for you.
First things first: you are not broken.
And vaginismus is not “all in your head.”
What is vaginismus?
Vaginismus is a condition where the muscles around the vaginal opening involuntarily tighten when penetration is attempted or anticipated.
This can make penetration painful, difficult or impossible. For some people, even the thought of penetration can trigger a physical response.
It can affect sexual activity, but vaginismus isn't simply a problem with sex.
It can also make things such as inserting a tampon, having a cervical screening test or undergoing a vaginal examination difficult or frightening.
And because our bodies and minds aren't separate entities, living with pain or anticipating pain can affect confidence, relationships, intimacy and emotional wellbeing too.
Vaginismus isn't your fault
One of the most frustrating things about vaginismus is that it can sometimes feel as though your body is working against you.
But you're not choosing that involuntary muscle response.
Vaginismus can have different contributing factors, and everyone's experience is different. For some people, it may be associated with previous pain, anxiety, fear of penetration, trauma or another pelvic health issue. For others, there may be no obvious reason why it developed.
There isn't one single vaginismus story.
And there certainly isn't one correct way to experience it.
You don't have to be sexually active. You don't have to want penetrative sex. And you don't have to prove anything to anyone.
What matters is that you have the information and support you need to make choices about your own body.
Why did we create Vaginismus Awareness Day?
Vaginismus Awareness Day was founded by Sh! Women's Store in 2015, after many years of women coming to Sh! to talk about their experiences.
Again and again, we heard stories of women who were struggling to understand what was happening to their bodies - often after being unable to find straightforward information or feeling too embarrassed to talk about it.
We realised just how many people were affected, and how much shame and silence surrounded the condition.
So we wanted to do something about it.
15 September became Vaginismus Awareness Day: a day to talk openly about vaginismus, share information and let people know that they aren't alone.
And that's still why we're here.
Getting help for vaginismus
If you think you might have vaginismus, you don't have to figure everything out on your own.
A healthcare professional can help you explore what's happening and rule out other possible causes of pain. Depending on your circumstances, treatment and support might involve pelvic health physiotherapy, talking therapies, psychosexual therapy or other approaches.
There isn't a magic one-size-fits-all solution - and that's okay.
For some people, vaginal dilators can form part of their treatment or self-management. They can provide a way to gradually become more comfortable with the sensation of insertion, at a pace that feels right for you.
Progress isn't necessarily a straight line. Some days might feel easier than others. Taking a step backwards doesn't mean you've failed.
Your body gets a say.
You are not alone
If you're living with vaginismus, it's completely understandable if you sometimes feel frustrated, embarrassed or exhausted by it.
But please remember:
- You aren't broken.
- You aren't making it up.
- You aren't failing.
- And you aren't alone.
There is support, and there are people who understand what you're going through.
We’re here to provide straightforward, supportive information about vaginismus, including personal stories, information about therapists and thoughtfully recommended products.
You can take your time. Read as much or as little as you need. Come back when you're ready.
No pressure. No judgement. Just information and support.
This Vaginismus Awareness Day...
Let's keep talking.
Let's make it easier for people to recognise the symptoms.
Let's challenge the idea that painful penetration is something you have to put up with.
And let's make sure that nobody struggling with vaginismus has to sit there wondering:
“Why is this happening to me?”
Because the answer shouldn't be silence.
You are not alone 💜
