Is there anything I can do myself?

Absolutely. The first thing to do is learn how to relax and squeeze the PC muscle that is tensing during Vaginismus. This is the muscle that you squeeze when you want to stop a flow of pee, so you can practise this when you next go to the loo.

The next step is to practise inserting things into your vagina. You can use your fingers – start with your little finger then move up in size. Then try two. These may be too big to start with, so you might want to use something very small like a cotton bud.

Some people prefer to use a dilator or sex toy. The NHS provides a set clinical dilators. Otherwise Sh! do a brilliant Vaginimus kit, though any vibrator or dildo that you like the look of will do. We recommend you get very comfortable and happy with each size of insertable before moving up.

If this feels too tricky, or even if you are able to do this but still feel a world away from enjoying your vagina, you can try touching in curiousity – maybe through knickers first if you find touch tricky. You can also try looking at it in a mirror and drawing it.

If this all feels too difficult, then seeing your GP, a counsellor, psychotherapist, or sex & relationship therapist is recommended.